During Bootcamp last week, Ted Capshaw started us off each day with a challenge.
In one of his challenges, he talked about getting real with our emotions and honest with ourselves… about acknowledging how we feel even when it’s uncomfortable.
He talked about these past 18 months, and he said, “It’s been too much.”
I didn’t think too much about it when he first said it. But it stuck with me. It crept up on me. And then it full-body tackled me to the ground.
I tend to approach life with the mindset that nothing is too much. If it’s here, if it’s in front of me, then I have to figure out how to handle it.
So, Ted’s words have been rolling around in mind and I realized that while I’m a big proponent of boundaries, I’ve got a great big, gaping hole in my fence-line.
Now, I’m not talking about taking on more than you mean to when working with clients (although I’ve done that a time or two) and I’m not talking about letting clients get away with scope creep (they’re almost never trying to take advantage of you, so a little communication fixes that). Not those kinds of boundaries.
I’m talking about the stuff that comes at you, that you don’t have any control over… at least at the outset.
Nobody asked me if I was up for a pandemic. I don’t imagine they asked you either.
But there it was… and we all had to deal. And well, I never once thought, “This is too much.” Too much wasn’t an option. I squared my shoulders, did my best to see all the things in my life that deserved gratitude (there are a lot them), and did what I could to help the people around me.
I never set boundaries for myself. I didn’t pause and check in on what I was managing and how I was doing. The magnitude of what was happening in the world — it was having a much bigger effect on so many people. What right did I have to let it bring me to my knees?
Now, I don’t know about you, but the pandemic isn’t the only thing that’s been going on in my life for the past two years. There have been other challenges. Triumphs, too. Actually, I do know about you — of course you’ve had other stuff going on, because that’s how life works.
Anyway, Ted saying, “It’s been too much.” That was the thing that finally brought me to my knees.
Because it has, it’s been too much. And I don’t know what to do with that.
Maybe you don’t either.
But here are my initial thoughts, and I’d love to hear yours in the comments.
Thinking through what Ted said, I realized that acknowledging that something is too much doesn’t mean you’re giving up. You can see that it’s too much, and you can still step up to handle it. (And often, you’ll surprise yourself with what you’re capable of.)
When things are too much, I think we need to process the emotions that come with that. I think most of us are really bad at giving ourselves the space to feel the things we’re feeling. We’re constantly trying to get in front of the emotional onslaught — to control it or reduce it to words — rather than just taking some solitary time to let the emotions do their thing.
And when things are too much, I think most of us aren’t so great at asking for help from our people. If you’re anything like me, you view yourself as a giver of support. I need to learn to be a better receiver. Maybe you do, too. And here’s a thing I’m sure of… the people who love you, who really love you… they are already trying to send support your way. Simply acknowledging you need it and accepting the help on offer… that will work wonders. I think.
Like I said, realizing that something has been too much… it kind of sucks. Yet, like many wiser people than me have said, recognizing a problem is the first step toward solving it.
So if things have been too much for you, I want you to know that I get it. You’re not alone (cliché, but I mean that). It’s okay to set your burdens down and rest for a few minutes. It’s okay to do that regularly. It’s okay to call a friend to rant or cry. It’s okay to ask for help.
It might just turn out that letting ourselves be a complete mess for a minute or two now and again is what will help us become the nailed-down professionals we’re all striving to be.
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If you missed our October Monthly Member Update about business conversations, you can find the recording here. Listen in to learn more about the different types of conversations you can be having that will lead to more clients, more projects, and higher fees.
Mark Your Calendar
October 20: Successful digital copywriters tend to have certain habits in common. In this live interview, I’m joined by Nick Usborne. Together we’ll explore some of the most valuable habits you can develop as a freelance writer. This is going to be a fun one!
October 26: One of my favorite ways to learn about writing is to listen to a professional analyze a piece of copy, highlighting the things that are working and why, along with the things they would change. That’s why I’m so excited about this webinar with Sandy Franks. Sandy is an experienced Copy Chief and knows more about direct response than just about anyone you’ll ever meet. In this event, she gives us a chance to look over her shoulder as she dissects samples of copy. You’re sure to come away with several insights that will make you a stronger writer.
Around the Web
I’m a big fan of productizing your services, so that means I’m a big fan of this article over on Copyblogger.
One of the big concerns new bloggers have is what happens if you can’t post on your regular schedule? Life does come up, after all. Here, you’ll find some ways to handle this situation while still offering value and staying connected to your readers.
Want to give your e-commerce client a quick boost in their bottom line? You might find some handy suggestions in this piece from The Good.
Is your day crammed full of things or does it feel spacious? If you’d like more spaciousness in your day, you might enjoy this read from Zen Habits.
That’s all for now. Make it a great week.
Sincerely,
Heather Robson
